just checked my call log and realized that we talked for 3 mns. what did i say for that long?
pretty standard. you have fun last night?
apparently....what exactly does 'pretty standard' mean?
typical hot then cold, followed by a death threat.
I failed the drunk obstacle course of trying to find my bed... consolation prize... a sore ankle and "disappointed' parents.
His mom made me a necklace that i am supposed to wear to prom. She included a note with it, which had a star trek quote. What have I gotten myself into?
I'm good, just tired from chardonnay and giving hand jobs.
Do you think there is vodka in heaven?
you let me eat a milky way from your vagina. G is not lettin you hang out for eternity
just broke no shave november. hello backed up drain december.
We tried having a conversation with our noses.
I definitely did a line of something I don't know with a Pagan biker. I make good decisions.
Hey girl, do you remember you made me brush your hair with a plastic fork on Saturday night?
I am now being bribed with one orgasm per every meal I eat. This is the best anorexia therapy ever
There was no eligible dick at the ER. I'm pissed. Looks like "Searching for Strange at the Local Free Clinic" is a no go for the name of our first full length album. On the other hand, I got a dilaudid shot and I no longer feel like I have the worst bladder infection of my life.
we got her to the bathroom intime. all she could say was 'now my bladder is empty just like my soul'
went to their party, left halfway through to fuck a pledge, came back to keep drinking. I think everyone won.
He says I vaguely mumbled happy New year, kissed him, threw up and then went back to sleep.
he looks like the poster child for myspace how the hell does he have other hoes?
Randomize