You dropped me off at the wrong girl's house.
There's no such thing as a "wrong girl" make it happen.
alright see you in the morning.
Whats the opposite of morning wood? Whatever its called, everyone saw it when it fell out.
You answered the door when the cops arrived with a beer in one hand and a pillowcase over your head yelling "GAGA, OOH LA LA!"
I think we need to stop being best friends, its not good for our vaginas.
Is it hot in here? Is the room moving? Its moving. The room is moving. Its spinning like a top. Have you ever been covered in puke? What are you doing?
he said he was going grocery shopping but when he came back all he had was a jumbo bag of pancake mix and case of beer.
the essentials, lol
I had mdma, weed, and alcohol in my system. My doctor seems to think that's how I tore my groin.
gay sex achievement: unlocked
what
you told me you were going out for groceries!!
I called 911 when they kicked me out of the bar last night.
I made a nest in his bed. I'm not leaving
I'm not sure if 14 year old me would be disappointed or proud that I fucked him behind her middle school??
I'm dying of laughter, but I'm also just dying
Send help
Oh don't mind my cushion, I got plowed in the ass by a freight train last night
Maybe those shots of hot dog water wasn’t a good idea after killing a fifth of tequila.. but who’s askin
when you come over can you bring tequila and my birth control? Thanks girl!
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