i may not always bang 16 year olds but when i do, i prefer hot ones
I think my hot accountant is wearing banana republic. I miss the days when that ='ed gay. Signals are so confusing now.
I feel like my nuva ring should have a vibrating switch.
I just remember telling jokes while vomitting
dude she snuck out while I was still sleeping then was banging on the door 10 minutes later cuz her car was brokedown. how was I suppose to recognize her??
Just jerked off to Cameron Diaz in "My Sister's Keeper". New low.
I'm full of awesome ideas
Yesss you are. Im full of confusion. I keep finding peanut butter on my legs...
I drank myself into bisexuality again.
And then she banged "the first Italian rapper"
I'm not going to need your "it doesn't mean you're a slut" pep talk after all.
The girl who overdosed in the bathroom at work is back....help?
Can I borrow you for, like, thirty minutes so you can lay on one boob and rub the other until I fall asleep?
He ate the contents of an ashtray and didn't puke, I think he can handle drinking a fifth to himself.
I apparently tried to wax off my nipples.This explains the pain
Plus my parents would be pissed if I spent Thanksgiving in jail... again.
Randomize
