just won a stolen shopping cart in a dance off in a parking lot.
her lazy eye was starring daggers at me.
Well, ive pounded a baby into a stripper and a girl who was on jerry springer, a 16 year old is logically next.
I wonder if u can grow weed on Framville and sell it to Mafia Wars?
she said she'd blow me if I bought one of her sorority raffle tickets. Goddamn it's gettin easy
I'm scared at the amount of beastiality in this conversation.
You were telling me to give my phone mouth to mouth so it wouldn't die.. Should i be worried for you?
we were fucking and all I could think about is how my silly bands were glowing in the dark.
No. No, there is no forgiveness for this. The only way I'm forgiving you for this is if you somehow convince your sister to have sex with me. In her car.
before we even ate breakfast we'd found an eighth of weed in some old purse she never uses. it was gone by lunch
this is terrible I feel like i'm trapped in a cage with a wild republican
Could have had sex with an ex NFL kicker last night.
That would've been embarrassing.
We're going to party like we don't have spanx on
I'm using my ex bfs phone number to look up his Kroger card so I can get a discount on condoms...yep this is my life
I remember reading the word "lift" so I did. The alarn went off, and I thought to myself "what dumbass pulls the fucking fire alarm?" and then I realized it was me...
Randomize
