Just realized our kids will one day call us old because we were around when texting came about. I'm sad.
and she's shaped like a lego person so that's not happening
so he stopped for a second, looked up at me and said in a really creepy voice, "I can has cheeseburger?" and then went back to eating me out.
Saved By The Bell: The College Years had it waaaay wrong on that one.
He just walked in our room casually and said "big girls are hungry"
What a whore. She reminds me of that asian guy who can eat all the hotdogs.
Wow thanks 4 throwing jello at me an yelling who invited that guy to all the guys at the bar
Apparently he's taking the slut he cheated on me with on a cruise for her birthday. THAT COULD HAVE BEEN ME. TITANTIC STYLE.
I am still sore from last night. I can't wait for you to meet my parents.
i fucking swear, saying shit like "i dont get jealous" is like personally inviting your slutty friend to fuck the guy you slept with like a month ago
I just sent my ex off to a party, threw a condom at him, and told him to make good choices.
Owwww. A manager/ employee sex scandal that DOES NOT involve me! SCORE!!!
Just get over here and light metaphorical fireworks in my literal vagina
friends who go to the bar together leave the bar together and im not leaving you behind ohana means family
You look wasted in ALL of the pictures I just saw you in.
That can't be good for your liver!
Thanks for caring mom.
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