Asian hipster sighting. About to tackle him and ask him to take me to chinatown
hey, what are you doing tonight?
sleeping, g'night!
but i wanted to see you :(
sleeping! g'night!(801): i miss you!
stop - you have a right hand - use it!
Man, ugly runs in her family
yeah, big time
before you smothered your pizza in mayo you blotted it with a napkin saying you were trying to watch your fat intake
It hit me after I slept with his best friends and brother, that maybe I took it a bit far
So help me Jesus we're never drinking together again. But weekends don't count. Amen.
THIS IS NO TIME FOR SHAME JOSH. JUST GOTTA GET IT IN. PURELY FOR LEVELING UP PURPOSES
I felt that there wouldn't be enough planB and forgiveness to go around
We need to drink more. Just think how awesome it would be to wake up in a trailer and NOT remember how wee got here.
I'm going as your incestuous sister. If thats not the perfect winglady I don't know what is.
There's nothing quite like having a little 8 year old boy hand me a Bible on campus while I'm on my way to the health center because of my recent slutty tendencies.
Holy Hangover.. I'm marrying whoever put this water by my bed
not sure when or how we ended up at this wedding party but you need to be here they are handing out screwdrivers and Yamakas to everyone and it's a got damn open bar you need to be here now
Do you want to talk about dinosaurs?
I'm like a bad decision making factory. I need to sit down and have a chat with my decision making elves.
Randomize
