we have pet lesbian snakes
Teenaged girls are God's best work and the Devil's best tool. Remember that my friend.
You sent me a text calling me "cunt" while i was in the middle of dumping my bf.
So we're fucking tonight?
This frat boy drinking a forty and wearing a pussy patrol shirt just ran out in front of my car. I should have used less brakes.
Hate sex is AWESOME! I faked it, and when she fell asleep i came in her purse.
How do you say "I'm not pregnant in Spanish?"
There's a guy in here whose face looks like it would be perfect between my legs.
Some drunk guy thought my knee scooter was the sexiest thing he's ever seen. He then proceeded to ask me about duck hunting and decoys...
Her shirt said pass joints, not judgement. You're surprised she stole your wallet after?
You were asking her how her mother would feel if y'all dated, etc. And I was yelling at you your girlfriends name over and over again in between gags and sobs.
You thought that you were playing full contact and started screaming "I will fucking end you! I will end you!" and tried tackling everyone in the room.
I made out with a girl because I wanted to get in the VIP section of the bar because they have these big comfy couches. It worked.
Just calm down. My foot long super joint and I will be over shortly.
I NEED HELP. IM TRIPPIN BAWLS IN THE BACK OF MY MOMS CAR.
Would the comment "Down Goes Frasier" be too inappropriate at this time?
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