i have a reoccuring irrational fear i'm going to walk in on my dad masterbating. Night.
I drunkenly recorded an episode of Family Matters last night. I took a shot everytime Carl Winslow had a mustache.
Is it bad that my only regret is fucking on the bathroom floor and not the sink?
Im making gravy in a lace bra and jeans. Just call me the southwern wet dream
If she's steering anything, it's a religious boat of crazy. Destination: Iceberg.
I threw up on my way to work while listening to "the good times are killing me". this award goes to modest mouse for creating the most poetic puke ever
We had a pillow fight. It looks like an angel exploded here. A DRUNK ALCOHOLIC ANGEL
I'm sorry I peed on your everything.
I'm sending you the three minute video I jus took,....it's of me eating a pear up close
Me and Jason had to grab your legs and arms and drag you in the house. You kept screaming "leave me for dead"
You were a cyclone of alcohol and bad decisions - like a gay Tazmanian devil
maybe one of us should just pity fuck him and get it over with.
PS there is a naked boy in my bed and I just left for the bar...
So hungover that I might just sit in my car and wait until chipotle opens...in two hours...
My vibrator turned on under my pillow when I was taking a nap this morning... I nearly shit my pants.
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