There's a group of australian girls next to me. can't take them seriously. think they are going to turn into mr g
no jill really. Evrything around me is talking to me. The plant, my dog, the tv,the lamp. Its amazing.
I knew she was going to get knocked up just by looking at her facebook pics
Hey fuck you and your taint. I'm just riding a canoe called life, back the fuck off. P.s. I need a ride
Do you know how hard it is to maintain a conversation with someone who just told you they put their cat in the fridge on purpose?
An don't say it's "personal preference" cause I don't buy it. I just want to have normal cool guy balls. I don't want to be the dude that's still rocking the equivalent of the "mid 90's bowl cut" of scrotum haircuts.
Then she said I give the best mouth hugs and bar went silent.
he wouldnt let me in bed until i took off all the stickers i was covered in
I just walked out topless, stared his brother straight in the eye, and ate all the rest of their cookie dough.
IF THE GUY WHO I AM BORROWING OUR CAR FROM FINDS ONE CONDOM OR JIZZ STAIN IN THIS CAR HE IS GOING TO CASTRATE MY ASS. SERIOUSLY, DON'T FUCK IN THE CAR.
He literally cried into his tacos and screamed fuck bitches. Don't know if it was the best, or the worst hook up, ever.
He better be a good lay, these underwear cost $50.
I came home braless and wearing a tail....
I had to explain to an ER nurse that I burned my dick playing onion ring toss today, your social awkwardness hardly compares.
I was at his place until 2am. We just sat really close an stared at each other. I think you are right. Germans must not have feelings. Not even tingly ones in their pants.
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