I FOUND THE PROF I'M GOING TO FUCKKKK.
i just ate a whole pizza and threw it back up in the time span of 13 minutes. give me the number to guiness book of world records.
I think she faked a seizure to get out of it ...
Best oral ever, hands down so to speak. but I'm starting to want to meet that lesbian truck driver he says he's better than. Just for comparison purposes of course.
Just had a 40 min argument about how many celebrity guest appearances on Sesame Street were court ordered for DUIs.
I hope your fat roommate breaks the bunkbed and crushes you in your sleep
Idk, you were a drunk pirate that kept stealing pieces of people's costumes to keep as your booty.
That would explain all the random shit in my room...
If we laid all the dicks that's have been inside of us end to end it would be as tall as 4 story building. 40 feet of dicks.
Would I chase a raccoon with a flaming stick sober?
Literally just had a girl put her street name into my phone. Yeah.
I should get him a card "thanks for letting me use you for your penis on and off as I see fit and for being a nice guy. My boobs and I appreciate your loyalty and dedication"
I don't know what his name was or what he looked like, but I remember him rocking me to sleep with his cock
I just fucked her in the corner of an ally while holding a large pizza waiting on a pledge for a ride.
Sent. All. My. Texts. Like. This. Last. Night. Thank. You. Weed. Also. Had. A. Dream. About. A. Serial. Killer. That. Killed. Everyone. Except. Me. And.
Guuuuurrrrrl! He ate the 🌮like it contained the Covid-19 vaccine!
Randomize
