We were naked in his bed when he asked me "what should we do?"
Hookup with hot guy from gym, check. Wake up to find he's peed in my closet, double check.
We started hooking up and a group of freshmen outside my window started chanting my name. Encouraging yet distracting
His penis was definitely too big to be the type that wants commitment. Shit.
You disinfected one of his friends, buttered the jeans of the other one. And you poured every liquid you could reach on the floor, including cooking oil and green tea. It wasnt a great first impression
Gave the kid in the wheelchair at the bus stop a beer and proceede to lift him on the bus. porch drinking brings out the best in everyone
Can't decide if I want to watch full house or the fleet wood Mac concert during the presidential debate.
I'm 2 beers deep on an empty stomach, and I just wanna say, I pride myself on my use of commas
We drank vodka and koolaid through a traffic cone. It got rowdy.
Dude, I got drunk and sexted his little sister by accident
Well I'm glad your Saturday night went a lot better than mine. I spent mine crying in a McDonald's parking lot.
I paper cut my nipple reading mail topless
lets face it, we have a liquor cabinet with a designated chocolate shelf
Watching Colbert Report and porn at the same time.
We're hate flirting, damnit.
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