The men handing out bibles on the quad are blatantly skipping me... am i that obvious
So this snow storm is NOT helpin my masturbation problem
I just watched my mom open a wine bottle with an electric drill. I have never been so proud.
We came back and there was a shotglass filled with what looks like blood. Come over soon, we're gonna try it out.
What are you doing? Did I punch you in the face last night?
Omg he's telling my parents stories about him doing jaagerbombs ... Lord help me
Hickies on top of my hickies. I need a leash and/or a positive female role model
The cabbie told me fat girls shouldn't wear tight clothes, and that he feels bad for the guys that have to be underneath them, especially because their positions are "very limited" and proceeded to ask me if I had a trash can and if I could throw something away for him. Don't worry though, he promised it wasn't anything "bad". He then handed me a tied up grocery bag with a bunch of wadded up Kleenex that weighed about 3 pounds. To answer your question, yes I made it home. Fml
Long story short I'm making an I'm sorry card for a girl I dont remember having sex with
How do I tell my hairdresser I want a hair style I saw in a porn video?
How many nights in 2015 can we have no one get injured, run away crying, or get into a brawl?
What's clit gel and why is it in my wallet.
I'm in his bed. I got up to puke. Im one eyeing it eating a hot dog bun. Wtf. This is my life
Its like Gods punishment for wanting to party
at the hospital. Kevin drank straight from the river
Randomize