we got sick of 7 11 doubles so we made up a game where you just drink when anyone rolls a 5
thats barely a game just flip a coin
should we drink on heads or tails?
we found you eating frozen orange juice with a spoon and then drinking vodka from the bottle.
his profile picture is a blurry one of him holding a beer. i recognized him instantly.
not to be a dick but do you remember the names of all your friends i made out with after we broke up?
It wasn't so much a one night stand as much as one night she puked on my nightstand.
My boyfriend just asked what time I was coming over. As soon as my old BF unchains me. I think he ran away.
Can I write your parents a thank-you note for your huge dick?
omg i wish you could see the front of my car.
There's literally a dust print of your body and your arm trying to hold on and the other one where your fingers visibly dragged down the hood.
Life Goals: never under any circumstances, pee in an elevator again. No matter how drunk
I've never been more scared for my virginity in my life. And I lost my virginity almost 6 years ago.
Drove by a guy getting road head, midday on O Street. That could be us, but you won't let me in your pants when you drive.
The fact that my boss lets me drink on my lunch break makes Mondays much easier.
This is like the fourth time this month I've woken up hungover in someone's backyard
The logic in me says "don't text him" .But the vagina in me says "text him".
I know we agreed to cock block each other from now on buttt I WANT this one. I have felt his penis, it is godly, and I am going to have it inside of me, so shut the fuck up and leave.
Randomize
