Unless you watched your mom's very literal rendition of "I touch myself" while she was wearing a bikini, your vacation wasn't as bad as mine.
We had sex on my friends waterbed ..after that the whole school kept asking him if he had fun getting "sea-sick" last night.
I'm really tired of your booty call eating my fruity pebbles.
He just told me that he goes squirrel hunting. NO LONGER BANGABLE.
Hey since its national brother week is that eiffel tower option with your girlfriend still on the table?
Having the sex-a-thon in the back yard led to some really odd tan lines.
Like handprints on my lower back...
Just don't eat pie out of the sink. It's a real blow to the self esteem.
Nothing like cleaning dried puke off your floor to make you feel like you've failed as an adult.
Guess who just got caught by mall security having sex in a car in the parking lot... at noon. This chick.
you started petting my head and said "there there, majestical unicorn. it won't be long before we get you back to neverland."
I got a message from the hook up gods today that it's time to move on. It came in the form of me being shoved in a closet naked and stuck in there for 30 min well he watched boy meets world with his brother.
He told me was "pretty like the wife in some movie where the husband is a cheater." I think I'm gonna fuck him.
Life's hard when you can't differentiate between retrograde and PMS
I was literally so lonely last night that I stopped watching a video on porn hub and just read the comments
No problem...what are friends for if they can't rub eachothers genitals.
Randomize
