There's a "art of the blow job" class in the city. We should go
Baby, I'm all set with that. That would be like trying to teach bruce lee how to kick someone in the head
His internet searches, listed chronologically: sex slave, volunteer sex slave, lava
I woke up to find her cooking breakfast wearing nothing but my Nuggets jersey. I don't think this could end better.
If I knew losing weight would mean this many fucking creepers I would've just stayed fat.
I'm wearing a real bra and real shoes. I look like a fucking lady.
After everything you did, you followed it with "Oh God, that's something a high person would do. But I'm not high." So yeah, you're not getting near my stash again.
Dick sucking on arrival? or would you like to cash that in later?
DUDE FUCK CALL ME SHE HAS GRANDKIDS
Have a booty call at 3am, stopped for tacos at 2:30. It's 2:55 and I still haven't ordered but can't jump the curb to get out of line because there is a cop in front of me. What am I doing with my life?
Life should not be this hard with a dick this big.
He stole my heart. I stole his identity.
At one point she put on my dads pants and yelled after him EMILIOOOO! Dude, my dads name is Mark.
The amount of illegal things I've done this weekend is astounding.
I think I fell asleep on my pizza last night. Damn, I am sauccccy.
They told him he could only pay in monopoly money and he pulls out a wad of it from his pocket... i think im in love
Randomize
