if i could have babies with my dog i totally would cause i know thay would be fucking hott babies.
Im in the beachers at wrigley listening to four lesbians debate the pros and cons of 2girls1cup. Success.
3 inches of snow, below zero windchill and i just saw a dude in a wrangler with no doors, shorts a beanie and burton snow goggles. God i love college in colorado
I just need to know if he's either really genuine about being in my life or being in my vagina.
just stole 2 cases of forties from some freshman in the woods by pretending to be a cop. that ten dollar spotlight is really turning a profit
My fuck buddy took time out of his date with his girlfriend to text me happy Valentines Day.
She just threw the soap bottle at me from the ladie's room and keeps asking me when we left the bar and got on the boat.
I'm just gonna get real fat and join the circus.
I guess? According to Jeff his mom is wondering when the grand babies will arrive. So I don't think they like ME so much as my supposed functioning uterus
I'd like to request an "its my birthday discount", and for you to bartend shirtless tonight ;)
good news: i got laid. bad news: by your boyfriend
Basically I think I'm replacing men/sex with theme parks.
But what if there are 6 people and they end up just pairing the off into 3 couples. Is it still an orgy?
I may or may not be drunker than time right now.
She's like a squirrel. She spazzes out all the time.
Randomize
