she told me she had a boyfriend but the alcohol told me she didn't
it was great that she threw up because that made me the only one trying to hook up with her
He walked into the party with a case on one shoulder and a boom box on the other of course I fucked him
And I know a few people wouldnt want to even be around high people. Which is sad. But jet packs are cool.
fun fact: in my eskimo family tree i am the only brunette
She called me her guardian angel after I picked her phone up from the river of pee coming from her front porch.
Why is my hat full of peanuts?
Don't throw them out, I'm on my way
that's the second time I've made out with him and woken up with my pants stuffed with PBRs I am convinced he's magic
I can't feel the bottom half of my face but i feel like our sex would be amazing
I got so drunk that I peed my bed...and all over him. The ironic thing is that he slept in his swimming trunks.
It's a mix of hot dirty sex and week old bong water
i had fun fun last night, with the exception of you running over my foot with your car. makes a great story for my first one night stand.
so idk what that means but now because of me he has a police file as breaking into my apartment and sleeping in my hallway under the carpet
I stared at his dick and then told him to get on his knees
Played Gay Bar on the jukebox and pissed off the Republicans here. Best day before birthday ever.
Randomize
