You picked a bad night to stay in. ____ caught her hair on fire in ____'s birthday cake.
She had to stop drop and roll while two other girls beat the flames out. She might have a black eye
I dont think problem is the right word. Problems arent something you enjoy. Life would be too boring without gambling.
I just saw a girl in Albersons in spandex and curlers buying PBR. Only PBR.
47 days without vaginal penetration. Im pretty sure it's grown over.
Do you realize that if your cunt was a missing person it would be assumed dead?
double majoring has taught me only that psych majors are sluttier than govt majors
My TA just came over to give us drugs. Now he's drinking grey goose with my roommate and explaining his thesis to her. This is too much.
Do you want the something i can tell my mom in ten year version or the you're gonna call me a whore but be proud version?
What's the rule on cocaine before dinner?
Its 11 o'clock somewhere
Whiskey + Water + Crystal Lite does NOT = refreshing summer time drink.....
He was like Sweeney Todd... But, without the killing people part.
So... He's a barber?
No. He's got crazy hair, and a revenge fetish. But he's hot. Does that make up for it?
So we just accidentally broke into a building from the third floor while carrying shovels. The security guards are still very confused
lets do drugs on my lunch break tomorrow
I smell like a skunk, but I'm okay with that.
I've been rehabbing my soul with cheese and wine lately
Socially acceptable to sleep in a booth in the library? Its not finals but I dunno if I can make it back to south. Too drunk.
Randomize
