so then we both started to do the walk of shame and she didnt realize we had fucked in her apartment until some lady said hi to her in the elevator
you didnt stop her?
too entertaining
good. and stop kissing my girl you dirty slut.
i don't think she's still your girl..plus, she kept screaming "kiss me! i'm a lesbian!" last night so i think you're outta luck..
I just saw a hobo ride by on a unicycle. Good day.
please don't let me die tonight
what have you done for me lately?
Fuck you. You would only tell me how to get to your house in Spanish.
I just typed in random letters on his address bar... 5 out of the 6....a porn site was in the drop down list hahahahaha get a life bro.
Its like a zucchini between his legs. An orgasmic zucchini.
yo your bro wants to know what time he got home and were you hosing him off
Climbing through a window thats four feet off the ground isnt the easiest thing when youre high, trust me.
YOU WERE HAVING SEX IN THE SAME BED I WAS SLEEPING IN. AND YOU GRABBED MY HAIR. OF COURSE I'M PISSED.
Yeah, you're right, it's a conspiracy against you. This small tight knit group of people who don't like assholes.
all i tweeted was "emergency this is not a drill" and he immediately texted me asking if this was a subtle booty call…it was
Is her dick bigger than yours?
And with one simple text you can separate the men from the boys...."it's that time of the month."
The only thing I remember is the 300 pound man breaking ur railing from sliding down it at 3 am. Must of been a good night.
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