no but I have been chillin' like em' homeboys in the rainforest yo!
I'm holding in my pee so that I can hear "Cowboy" in its entirety on the radio
Honestly there's alot of things I'm confused about the only thing I know for certain about last night is that I ate pizza
Apparently I was trying to convince him Springsteen has had buttsex. I ended the argument with "I bet he came from it too."
Yup, totally tried cooking bacon in the dryer last night.
No, I got those cupcakes fair and square. That homeless man should have known not to underestimate the determination of a stoned chem student.
Ive consumed more rum studying for law school finals than I did that time I fucked that fat chick in the back of VW Beetle. It's all ugly, but for different reasons.
i think i swapped my keys for drugs last night
Nope. If I'm going to drive an hour to fuck a teacher, it will NOT be missionary thats for damn sure.
Someone had Captain Morgan and orange juice at the same moment I lost my hangover and I just had to give it a try.
Tell the cops to let you through! Tell them you need to do drugs!
I'm definitely single now but she stole my mailbox
and that's when you shouted "ahh motherland" as you streaked down hall 4B
I have just received a gold-medal-deserving sext. He wrote me a fucking novel. Not only am I incredibly turned on but I am beyond impressed. He is the sext god. I must bow to him.
BRIAN AND ANTHONY SPOON FED MY BROTHER MACARONI AND CHEESE WHILE HE WAS FUCKING ZARA. THEY WENT TO HIGHFIVE HIM AND ZARA WAS LIKE "WOO!" AND HIGHFIVED THEM FIRST
Randomize
