someone get that fucking seahorse.
Now I'll never know if Megan finds a millionaire.
Just threw up my room service breakfast with my fake eyelashes and pearls still on.
i gave her a can of corn and told her the cabs are accepting non perishable food items over the holidays. blatant lie and she lives like $40 away
she got to the point every few minutes she checked to see if her boobs were still there.
its the kind of night you break several limbs and say you were lucky
So good news, aparently I blacked out and tried to go in the back of the mcdonalds to thank the people for makin my fries
I'm far too poor to be letting my hookups wear my shirts home. I'm down to about a total of 8 shirts and have no intention of buying more
He fell asleep cradling my ass and every time I moved he adjusted his hand accordingly. I've found the one.
I've been rehabbing my soul with cheese and wine lately
Masturbated furiously for a half hour; ate a fistful of chocolate, then took a nap. Woke up and finished wrapping presents. I've got this holiday thing down.
He held my hair while I gave him a blow job. Now that's teamwork.
They made the paper for stealing gnomes. I fucked a local celebrity.
the teacher told me he was disappointed and when I asked why he just shook his head. remember that kid that caught us having sex behind the school? pretty sure that was his son.
I'll text you when I have a mental breakdown about it.
Please do.
Randomize
