belinda wants 2 know wr u got ur butt pads
i dont wear butt pads that thang is au naturel
Yeah...right...LMAO
you definitely held a convo with a hobo
we have a secret handshake
i just woke up to that girl in my doorway. I kid you not. Tan and lime green thong on. peeing on the carpet in the hallway. Then she collapsed. There is a load of towels in the wash. Just thought you should know when you wake up. Gross.
Call me back. I want to hear your side of the dead cat in my garage story.
How long is it safe to eat only Hot Pockets and Popsicles?
I had the spins so badly it was like I was having sex with 2 girls
My roommate just got home. Made an entire package of bacon. Ate it. And then went to bed.
We have literally factored in $2200 for bail money in the budget. This vegas trip will be out of hand. We are signing confidentiality contracts.
He answered his phone while he was eating me out and proceeded to yell at his wife for interrupting lunch...impressed or rock bottom?
It feels kinda weird thanking you for sucking my dick, but I just don't know what else to do right now
the gays at disneyland are vicious
I got a thank you card in the mail from the virgin i slept with on the camping trip. Weird or the new classy?
The worst thing about him living around the corner is that who ever suggests the booty call is the one that walks over.
It was one of those nights where you get back from the bar and end up staying up till 3AM beating off to facebook photos of girls from college
:(. i have vodka in a fire extinguisher. that solves all problems. except fires. it would actually make that worse.
Randomize
