how do you clear previous safari searches on an iPhone? i asked my brother to google something for me and "big penis" "empire chinese food" and "reverse cowgirl" popped up.
His internet searches, listed chronologically: sex slave, volunteer sex slave, lava
Thanks for feeding me more tequila shots to prevent me from trying to fight her last night. Horrible logic? Yes, but you are the best friend ever
I asked her if she was the outdoorsy type, she replied "I had sex on a fourwheeler once, does that count?"
Puked up what appears to be battery acid next to the treadmill. Everyone noticed.
And I just had to awkwardly tell 3 police officers that I was having sex and not in any trouble
I have a test in the morning in sign language about signs for drugs and alcohol use. Im drunk and rolling a blunt. I've never felt so confident about a grade in my life.
therea a video of her dad walking in while i screamed "lets have a fashion show!" and fell off the table
i made up my own drinking game and i took a secret shot every time someone asked me about school or my future
Don't feel sorry for me. I'm getting Red Lobster and sex tonight. Nothing can bring me too far down.
If I could sit on this toilet forever I would totally do that right now
Look,the guy had sex w/a Canadian prison guard on the deck of a cruise ship,he could blow any second.
1. I'm excited for tonight 2. Do we dress up as pirates? 3. Happy Valentine's Day bae
Dude... the time we have in life to be young and trivial is so incredibly short. I think we should drink tonight.
I just had a legitimate orgy. Wearing glowsticks.
Randomize
