Is it 'vaginas' or 'vaginae?'. Either way there were a shit ton of them.
was i over the top when i said that i wished they made v-neck pants to her?
I love that she's always that person who people think it's a good idea to invite her to something. and then she's there and you realize, "nope."
how ive managed to spend 100$ at an open bar is beyond me.
So it turns out there are pros and cons to having a broken wrist. Pro: I can give amazing blowjobs with my left hand. Con: I just had to open a packet of crisps with scissors.
He upper decked the toilet, got himself lit on fire 6 times and lit 4 other people on fire in the course of 3 days.
I'm more concerned with the fact that he was UNconcerned that live poultry could peck him in the nutsack @ any moment of sex
You know its good night when theres makeup smears on the toilet seat
Woke up in a wet suit with my junk cut out. In a strange apartment. Just found thing biggest bong u have ever seen. WHERE ARE YOU?!?!?!
Am I the only one that feels like there are hundreds of tiny people having a rave and stomping and kicking around inside my head this morning?
Repeat. Dildo on the ceiling, confiscated potato shooter, and bottle of yegger. Repeat. Ceiling dildo and yegger.
I just want nice things and good sex
You sent 2 glasses of water to the table next us and told to the waitress they were on you. I repeat: water
Eventually I will start sleeping with people who actually want to hangout with me the next day... But not today
There is a sex dungeon behind the wine cellar. This is why I hate showing foreclosures.
Randomize