i jus seen this fat chick walk buy look like she had don king coming out her arm pits..
So i decided to deal with the awkwardness of last night by making out with all three of them
No we didn't have sex. I got my period on his finger.
i lnow ive slrrwsdy teted you this. but goddamn girl on tv is a good song
I feel like I got hit by a bus. A head on collision with my vag.
Id have to say flaming beer pong was a royal success.
I forgot how weird my hair bleaches and now I'm a calico
You can wake up to my rainbow of failure
I haven't been that free with the boobs since I was 19. I'm putting them away for a while.
If you insist
The one guy literally flopped my boob out. Yes I insist.
Look, as flattering as it is, I'm getting a little tired of being everyone's go-to girl for a threesome.
So how do I get back in good graces for trying to trade you for superbowl tickets?
He asked me who my new boyfriend was and I showed him a picture of my sex toys.
We're friends with benifits... The benifits being I'm fucking her boyfriend
Had sex on the beach last night with a drug dealer. win-win-win situation
drinking vodka out of a wine glass to feel a little bit classier about myself.
I am listening to Jack Johnson and wearing the sweater your Mother made me fuck mother nature I am in my happy place right now
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