u cheatin on me?
if i did i would try to upgrade babe.
this is amy. the small petlike person from the womens bathroom at the reef.
This Casey James character from American Idol is really gonna mess up my sex life.
Or maybe the fact that you know who Casey James is will be what messes up your sex life.
Your kinda stuck between a rock and his hard dick on this one..
It's official. 2011 is the year of sport fucking
By the way seagulls wings are very soft. And the lesbian and or by sexual twins say hello. Be home in the little bit time frame.
I recommend we watch the Super Bowl together and have celebratory sex if we win. Good news is I don't have a team I dislike so were guaranteed a win.
I feel like I should pray to the god of Febreze, because it is like it washes away the smell of all my sins from the bed
Made my roommate send me tit pics so I could send them to someone because I didn't want to move.
SOS YOU NEED TO TAKE THE CANDY PANTIES OUT OF THE GLOVE COMPARTMENT BEFORE MOM TAKES MY CAR
I was drunk and on Craigslist.. The drunk-text offers people got must have been either horrifying or glorious
fuck sobriety. I want to wake up tomorrow in a park or some shit.
If I ever drink whiskey again make sure I don't eat the plastic cups that I'm drinking them from.
My boss just texted me, clearly drunk, and said get down here pronto with a handle of rum, 50 lbs. of cold cuts, and a BB gun. This is not why I went to law school.
so i realized that he's only my physical relationship and beer is my emotional relationship...
Randomize
