somehow in between the body shots the bong hits and trying to convince the 7-11 lady to let me fill up my vodka bottle with cherry slurpee. i misplaced my car.
if someoen knew that someone accidentally drunkly kissed your boyfriend would you want them to tell you/?
followup question: what if both somones were me?
just got drunk at a party with Christmas themed solo cups.. holidays are officially here.
Halfway through banging her I realized that she was playing a sex playlist on her iPod...first time actually having sex to R.Kelly's "bump and grind"
Im eating the cereal I found in my pocket and drinking wine out of the bottle.
I never thought I'd say this but my vagina is taking a serious break for awhile
You know how girls with huge tits have back problems? Do you get knee problems or something?
he referred to his penis as the bashful dwarf from snow white
I'm gonna fingerblast you when you get off work. Get ready.
Quick! What do I wear on a 4 hour road trip with an older guy in the army I had pantomime sex with in a hotel a few months ago?
Doing the walk of shame at 1 AM. Stumbled across a rave. This night is epic.
Props to you. You took the bet seriously. Making out with her for an hour right after she spewed
He was stoned and starts screaming, "I ain't got but a dollar, I wanna hear waterfalls!". Maybe he can hang with us....
Yes please. My parents would fucking love him and I'd love fucking him. That's a win-win if I've ever seen one.
I’m getting reeeeaaalll tired of telling cute boys I gave them chlamydia.
That’s two in three months. You really know how to live.
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