i think i may have caused an international incident at the french embassy, just fyi
hahaha how?
its a long story involving a horse trailer and some shrubbery
um i just realized that some of the people at my family reunion look inbred. thats not a good sign.
hahaha beady eyes set close together? defs inbred.
my dads cousin just put a cig in his dogs mouth and says, "look its a commercial for newport!" holy hell i hope im adopted.
Chris' response to jim throwing up was taking off his shirt and saying WHO WANTS A BONER
The KFC double down is way too much for a drunk. He was just staring at it in awe.
Kinda wish I banged him. I need the exercise.
I have a completly random but serious question. Can I make a paper mache mold of you ass and turn it into a pinata filled with airplane bottles of liquor? Its for my art class
how is telling me how long you drunkenly fucked someone supposed to make me miss you?
exactly. I want him to have to live with the fact that he fucked me. I want him to look me in the eye and say "you were a drunken mistake".
I just realized now that you're pregnant we can't use alcohol as currency
Discovery: there is a folder in my pictures labeled "Your Name and cats"
I used my dress as a plate for pizza rolls last night
I think I got a sinus infection from puking out my nose on st. Patricks day #thisis26
Oh dear. If we're both hearing alien sounds then perhaps they're real.
Dude I asked him to get me beef jerky at 4 am and he actually walked to CVS to get it. CVS closes at 12 but it was the perfect opp to dip out
while giving me head, she stopped, looked up at me smiling and said "ill never be able to look at bananas the same way again" and then went back to work.
Randomize
