do you think it i'm gay because i was in a 3 way lastnight?
well not if you dont touch the other dude and concentrate on the chic
what chic?
I'm saving my limes so I'll know how many drinks I've had.
I do the same thing, but I use ice cubes.
Our hot neighbor just came over and asked for a toilet plunger...not so hot anymore
He's been dead since March and more people write on his wall than mine.
she used her cellphone as a light to find my clit under the sheets. worst.lesbian.ever.
i definitely just woke up with half of a cigarette tucked underneath my balls. Last night must have been interesting
Drunk sex destroyed my coffee table... ikea this weekend?
I just had someone I don't even know on Facebook message me saying it seems like I drink too much and should slow down.
You don't care if I shave my legs, but you insist I be conscious for sex. Whatever. I really think your priorities are out of whack.
You go to bars with sophisticated older men, I steal lawn ornaments. Priorities
You left me a voice message at 5 a.m. It was mostly incoherent noise, you screaming my name and then something about a man with two butt holes...
I'm not going to be your wingman while you are in the hospital.
I feel like I should be having more sex dreams of my boyfriend than his sister..
I need to thank someone for this kid's penis.
hey, so i dont know your name. but im guessing we had sex last night. seeing that you're in my phone as "had sex time thursty thursday guy"
Randomize
