So I just passed a billboard for "Risque Cafe: Good food and topless women". Fuck. I love SC.
The problem is he wears abercrombie jeans like there's nothing wrong with it
I just gave the bartender my number in roman numerals. If she figures it out, she's worth a shot
having to delete all your hookups stored in your phone as first name followed by frat/bar after they've graduated is such a bittersweet feeling
Maid of honor is brides sister and single. Likes lemondrops. You're welcome.
Yea no bueno and I only brought enough weed to last one night. And it was no Hanukah nug, it didn't last 8 days.
Random thought: what if being devoured by animals was a death penalty option...and you got to choose the animal?
If you could watch a water balloon run... That's what it's like watching her run.
Well, that was my first dog walk of shame. Nothing says "I've got my life together" like an inside out shirt and a baggie full of dog shit.
No you don't understand. This tree is really alive. Like in Pocahontas.
It wasn't even dirty talking, it was more like the soothing gentle nonsense noises you make when you've spooked a horse.
Yet he continued to eat cereal out of the glove compartment in my car.
The fake number she gave me was for Pappa John's. Now I have a large pepperoni on the way.
Why is it I can't go buy redbull and tylenol pm from a store without getting questions about my health choices?
It just so happens all of their names are Ryan, so I never have to change whose name I moan.
Randomize
