Dude! wtf happend last nite? I woke up with 2 black eyes and a head ache
You stepped off the curb and face planted the road...twice
Why didnt you hold me up....and why a second time?
I helped you up but figured it was wayy funnier to watch you fall again then lose my buzz....
Her life has all the ingredients for a how to book: Making Your Life an Epic Fail
So we fuck and I say, "I'm about to go." He tells me, "No, leave at ten.. just lay here for a little while." When I ask, "Why?!" He gets his feelings hurt and says, "ugh. or don't." Since when did guys start acting like girls?
after drinking 6 jumbo margaritas he then proceeded to tell the entire restaurant that he was going to "bust a load in me" when we got home....how do you think the rest of my night went?
it wasn't sex, it was awkward naked time.
you need to leave class get on facebook and start untagging IMMEDIATELY
Everytime I walk into a bathroom at school that I've taken a pregnancy test in I get a little bit nostalgic....
you know, even black out drunk I can always remember the exact point where I should have stopped drinking.
12 trash cans filled with water. Beer cans floating in each, 12 ft apart. Dodgeball. Ultimate beer pong.
Rules. We have to wear superhero outfits
He knows my period schedule but not my work schedule.
Someone's having a good night if they're getting gummi bears and Astroglide.
Lets get real here, ive seen your moms breasts multiple times
Ok she stopped using her fork and knife and is legit eating that steak using her hands.
I think he's like Cher he's going to live forever but not as scary looking
My roommate walked in on my inserting a tampon. Somehow, I don't think this will be improving our relationship.
Randomize