what age do we have to be before we can stop fucking guys on the first date?
I used the word aforementioned in my paper. That's an automatic A in community college.
Your lack of great college experience of margaritas and foam parties scares me
Something's wrong. Everything's on fire. Unless it was like that before. Then everything's alright.
He's bought his dick a cell phone. A cell phone. For his dick...
He gave me the number and told me that I if I want to hook up again, I have to call his penis.
Irrelevant. Does he have queso? That's the real question.
Last night when you stole the construction sign you told me to tell you that first you did it for the money Than you did it for the music But mostly you did it for your family
Got robbed by an ATM. My weekend officially sucks.
Yeah we fucked. I ran into her the next day, I had to pick up the girl scout cookies I ordered from her boyfriends kids.
YAY! I just removed my own stitches, and I'm only bleeding from one spot! on a related note, do you think a dishwasher will sterilize forceps and trauma shears?
I'm no doctor but I don't think balls are supposed to look like that.
I'm disproportionately drunk. But I also spelled disproportionately right twice so maybe I'm not that drunk
There's something empowering about being at dinner and sitting across the table from two men you've blown.
Did you mean to say flashlight? Or did your grandpa really give you a fleshlight for your bday?
What do you want. Tryin to service my husband like the good wife that I am. It is bj Tuesday
Randomize
