Honestly I wish you never came into my life. I know I don't want you. But I keep trying to get you back bc of the memories
I don't see you I see the memories. All the time
I think im going to throw up on grandma
Here's my recipe for happiness. Go get a pen. 1. smoke a bowl 2. put on explosions in the sky 3. take a bath. Do this for about 1 hour or until all your problems go away.
This girls a $30 bar tab from being bi
Fuck you. You would only tell me how to get to your house in Spanish.
You didn't even properly utilize my pigtails.
I've been told that their best stripper is on maternity leave. NEVER AGAIN.
I'm reffing a fight in Fight Club I don't even know what I'm doing
All hell broke loose. When the police showed up, this kid somehow haggled with a cop to let him pee in public. I'm convinced he could talk the panties off of a nun
Basically, I'm sure one day I'll look back on this part of my life and be ashamed....
we dropped acid in chinatown. worst. idea. ever. too many colors. and nobody has any idea where steve is.
Our sub is singing "i believe i can fly" after yelling at the class this whole time and this is really hella weird
Oh Jesus our whore days are numbered
*tries to be fun and flirty* *literally gets peed on*
Irony: drinking your pre workout supplement out of the cup your Krispy Kreme doughnut holes came in.
Randomize
