Running into every girl no one would hook up with here at rick's. Typical.
Ben's a prick.
What Ben are you talking about?
All the bens across all the lands
So, I just pissed in her shampoo bottle. Hope she enjoys a late golden shower from me.
Just jerked off to Cameron Diaz in "My Sister's Keeper". New low.
I froze in his sixty one degree room but i came so hard. Like fucking the eskimo god.
she's walking down the hall in a thong and one flip flop and one ugg
Only in this snowstorm did have I realized the lengths I'll go to to get laid.
I lost my grandmas ring. Probably during the handjob.
Just gave a gay guy pointers on how to make anal not hurt. Reevaluation of life choices: in progress.
please bring me a paper towel asap.
I was drinking wine in bed and spilt some on my chest.. And I cautiously guided it into my belly button but now I dont know what to do.
So a sorority girl just introduced herself to me by saying "a guy I used to fuck just threw up on me" and then she grinded on me
I think I just smoked a piece of your foot. Were u picking your feet by the weed?
They had to stop us from skinny dipping in the reflection pool of the Mormon temple.
Having sex with him is like eating mayo. Don't think about it, just do it. It's worth it.
I think its a little fucked up she invited you to her wedding, are you going?
There is a lot of acid in my drugs right now
....ill put you down as a no then
Randomize
