Down for casual relationships, more fun than catholic missionary, bring condoms and don't get attached.
Are you going to tell your therapist we boned?
Dude wtf I'm sitting behind some girl in class who is creeping on my facebook page. I don't even know who she is..
Last night I got a napkin with 4 names & numbers: Katie, Ellen, Kylie...and Brandon.
Why did you come into my room last night at 3am and pour monopoly money on me while you were crying?
I'm going to superglue stuart's hands into socker boppers
I woke up this morning with a wristband and I thought I went to the hospital last night I actually went ice skating instead
Hey. I can't work your space dryer so I'm wearing your blanket home. I'll get my clothes later. Fun party!
This bitch rocks a fuckin fanny pack and still manages to lose her phone at every thirsty thursday
This is NOT the time to take our hits and go to Disney. Let me repeat that. NOT THE TIME FOR DISNEY ON ACID
He's claiming he can open a beer bottle with anything. He's been trying for a while now with a power rangers action figure and he is just cutting the hell out of his hand. There is blood all over billy
I want to share a beverage of the alcoholic category with you, but I'm conflicted about getting out from under my covers.
Liar. My heart is broken and my boobs are disappointed.
I know he's gay. But if he touches my vagina I'm human centipeding his face. Sorry not sorry
At least you didn't wake up next to your professor who then proceeded to cancel class via phone while still inside of me.
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