what the fuck were we smoking when we had a conversation about how my brother would be so proud if i fucked an orange alien?!?
Her vagina felt like a horse was eating an apple out of my hand..
Whenever I miss you I just turn on Tool Academy
They have a pepper shaker for pot.
After we fucked, her eye wouldn't stopped twitching and she could only move her hand, which she used to put her number in my phone
i just ate a whole pizza and threw it back up in the time span of 13 minutes. give me the number to guiness book of world records.
I'd just like to inform all involved that walking into a liquor store holding a milk crate at the beginning of a night as stock ends badly
Ugh I miss culture and lesbians already
She had sex in a public bathroom and slept on a couch in the dorm lobby. It's only Monday
You told the cop you where the star of the Track team and tried to run away. So yeah, i'm not surprised.
Orientation leader success, day 1: incoming freshman just ate out his first sorority girl. I gave him a 7/10.
There's a cute bearded guy at this brew fest wearing a kilt and selling mead
TELL HIM ABOUT MY DOWRY!!!
he's the only real guy friend I've had who I've never made out with
He's like a sexy bearded lumberjack who likes wine.. I can't lose..
There's a potato with a bite taken out of it in the kitchen
Randomize
