1 of the best things of being a business owner is I don't get fired for having sex in the office
somehow you got everyone naked by playing strip rock paper scissors.
Can you tell me why I have pubes stuck in my teeth?
the party was called freshmen disorientation. i was just following the theme
I made him hve sex with me in the elevator so that I could put my finger down in never have I ever.
Someone wrote Kyle's bitch on me too. I dont even know who Kyle is.
The one from last night got me a whole floor of Eskimo Brothers. There was a celebration of high fiving as I left
The a/c is broken so they cut a softball size whole in the freezer door. Goodbye deposit.
We kept trying to bring you to the hospital but you had a tantrum and kept saying you would never be Miss America
Thanks be to the Goddess of Whores!! I straightened my bed before Ken got here. Found Calvin's boxers in the sheets!!!!
Two cats fucking in the middle of the street. I sat there and watched in my car because I didn't want to cock block the male by honkin my horn.
I think girls have an advantage in chugging contests. We know how to just open our throats.
Brought some lesbians back to the light side of the force
I woke up this morning to my panties draped around the neck of an empty bottle of bulleit. That is the perfect visual metaphor for my life at this juncture.
I mean, drunk me really liked him, maybe sober me will too. Who am I to deny fate?
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