Sandra Bullock looks like the most recent Michael Jackson
Are you with Adam and his vodka?
Yeswdsssss I masde his pickle gi away ans he go anbnoued
It's a Westpoint/Army thing, we talk about Miley Cyrus a lot
Why?
Because when is jailbait ever not funny? Answer: Never
Lauren she was gnawing on a dresser. Gnawing. On. A. Dresser.
Wore last nights jeans to Christmas Dinner with the fam, found a half gram of blow, while they're praying ill be railing.
He was using OnStar to get directions to the bar. I'm pretty sure he'd have gotten her number too if I hadn't disconnected the call.
they were having sex on the toilet apparently and everytime someone knocked they flushed. it was like an auditory scoreboard of sex duration.
can we just pause for one second and address the fact that balls were out last night
The best was when you were crying, and trying to get the bouncer to "understand you AS A HUMAN BEING"
Just because your gf gives mediocre bjs doesn't mean I can fill that void
They're the one who can profit the most when given the opportunity for blackmail.
At least that's how I've always seen it whenever I've been the Designated Driver.
That simultaneously explains everything and makes me very very terrified of you.
Last time I "ran into him" I ended up with the clap and had to explain why the ladder was missing from the garage.
He was a foot taller than me and my hands were bigger than his, it's called Pity head
is it sad that a disney movie is making me horny?
I am going as Rudolph for the Christmas Eve furry orgie.
Is Santa taking the sleigh of slutty reindeer around the neighborhood again this year.
Yes. Several neighbors have requested it.
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