ive decided something. ive accepted you as being gay. but i havent accepted you as a vegetarian yet.
Until then we have the self affirmation from retweets and nights alone with pizza..
You know me. im down for anything that could harm my well being. lets dress like dolphins so everyone will see what dicks they are.
I am sitting here. Drinking from a bottle of vodka. Eating shredded cheese from a bag and waiting on him to pick me up after he finishes with his girlfriend. This is what dreams are made of.
I think my whole family judged my ability to change under a blanket.
In a moving vehicle and other people in the car
Just bought the plane tickets. Light headed. Blood rush to clit oh god blue clit. Mayday mayday vagina down!
Gosh, I don't even have that. Let alone someone to tie me up and whip me with Twizzlers.
I'm hoping they send me home from work drunk.
Did I run away from you last night?
Yeah it was a great moment for our friendship
There's nothing quite like having a little 8 year old boy hand me a Bible on campus while I'm on my way to the health center because of my recent slutty tendencies.
I might run out into oncoming traffic. Id rather break my legs and/or die then continue with today.
Hella random but just hear me out...A bar that is a petting zoo. Bitches love petting zoos.
Turns out I screen transfered my streaming trucker restroom porn vid to the downstairs neighbors'TV instead of my own, damn you chromecast
just ran into my father at CVS while buying condoms...he winked at me. I really need to move out of this town.
A cop may or may not have seen my bare ass against the moonlight within the past hour
Randomize
