I mean I can't believe yesterday ended w/ your house getting firebombed. What an unexpected turn of events
We saw some woman wearing leather pants. It was weird. We have decided to follow her on her travels to see where people go in leather pants in Michigan.
I had to stop messing around with him for fear of laughing in his face. I swear it was a pinky finger in his pants
i checked my sent messages this morning and i had apparently tried to text the bar, saying "idk what i drank, do you?"
He's coming over tonight...I really wish I didn't have my period right now...
I believe I'm witnessing the first time ever that you wished your period would NOT come....
we found you standing over and eating out of my neighbor's garbage can
Penises. Penises everywhereeeeeeeee. Penis ratio is sooo disproportionate. I can't NOT get laid tonight.
I found out his name. Apparently we sat in the shower together and flooded the bathroom.
I`m watching Shallow Hal & Jack Black has better nipples than Jimmy's chick.
Dislocated my knee during sex, popped it back in and kept going. Then got simpathy chipotle out of it too.
So, my eyeglasses somehow ended up in my nightstand drawer and they're covered in lube.
He makes bad life choices and drives a wagon, how is that not my type?
I think i just made eye contact with his roommate... while doing reverse cowgirl. Yup i have no shamee
I woke up with leftover chocolate syrup on my nipples. WTF happened last night??
What is ur current declared sexuality for my bingo board
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