Chill out big head. its weird when girls look at dudes asses
it hasn't hit me that college is over yet. so far at home, i haven't brushed my teeth, taken off my makeup, or changed clothes before bed.
I got into my dads silver toyota in the back seat to get picked up and 2 mins later I asked my dad when are we leaving, then an old mexican woman turned around. wrong toyota I'm guessing.
Great parenting moment: noticing your kid is going to puke from gorging fish sticks and sending her outside. Then watching her puke on your dog.
Apparently I fed my Plan B to my turtle last night.
We decided we needed a drinks fridge in our bathroom.
Nah its cool some of my cousins have fucked the same girls and brought them on family vacations and everything.
Don't linger or you will get sucked into spending the night. Remember the mission mantra: GET OFF
Spent fifteen minutes in the car thinking i was psychic before i realized the cd was not on shuffle
Your vase full of piss was still at his house and he still doesn't know.
We hooked up with 2 friends last night as always and she stole their fucking cocaine and I just had to drive to their house and make her give it back to him hahshshahahah only me
I'm sending lingerie pics that I took yesterday. I fully prepared for this holiday
The more time I spend surrounded by Mormons, the more I miss alcohol.
i just used a selfie stick to take an ass pic. i hate myself.
Everytime after he came, he'd laugh uncontrolably for ten mintutes. He was sober..
Randomize
