question. what would be the least awkward way to ask your one night stand if he came inside of you because you would really prefer not to have his illegitimate lovechild. hypothetically.
I would have been "that girl" at the party last night if it wasn't for that girl who puked in the potted plant...
I think Charlie st. Cloud is the saddest thing I can masturbate to.
Woke up on the kitchen floor cuddling with the dummy we made of you. Hope your internship is going well.
Ps I don't think it counts as being open minded if you didn't know he was missing a leg until you had already started making out.
you kept telling us that in dog beers you only had one
I'm alone drinking at the bar and the titanic theme song is on. This won't end well.
ok it turns out chain mail does not protect against falling down a flight of stairs. please send help.
I need to find another hobby that doesn't include being hungover.
Funny how I'm trusting a magic 8 ball I found in the kids toy section to tell me about my sex life
Yes, if by 'finishing my business' you mean vomiting in her bathtub and losing my watch.
Just took acid. Wish me luck.
I worked out twice today and you're dropping acid. My life sucks.
You were throwing up into a trash can full of used condoms. I had to intervine.
well we started off by chasing vodka with chocolate milk and ended up trying to befriend a crippled raccoon so that should tell you how our night went
Ya, It's probably because whenever I close my eyes I see a kitten playing a banjo.
Randomize
