just had amazing sex with a girl I got caught with in second grade playing doctor. her examination is finallllly over
I don't know what's more sad having a rewards account at a liquor store or already racking up 273 dollar points since january
Found out my brother is now my eskimo brother...One of my proudest times as a brother
I'm having horrible flashbacks of being groped by Pauly Shore.
Come down here. We are watching people walk through the paper we taped in front of the elevator.
the scent of your tears make me crave pizza
I should send him a pic of my crotch with the caption "thanks for the memories"
Lesson: Never rollerskate with a 40 in your hand unless you have a destination.
I just scored a new eye doctor and a date all in one email. BOOM!
You showed up at my front door in a bikini with a fifth of tequila it was like the opening to a porno
I just want to sing to him and rub baby oil on his head
Split a bottle of Johnny Walker and then decided to eat a shit ton of peanut butter. That was a rough bed to wake up in
We stole a Christmas tree from the student center and then decorated it with everything we stole from parties... All I have to say is Feliz Navidad!
I have never in my life been turned down for sex until this weekend.
Welcome to my everyday.
Would the comment "Down Goes Frasier" be too inappropriate at this time?
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