Whatever it was. it was pregnant.
She told me that she faked her orgasm. Does she think I care??
wtf
I'm guessing you saw the bathroom?
Did you get drunk last night? You put Christian lyrics as your fb status again.
He's a waiter, looks 15, and told me he loved me after only talking to me for 30 minutes. I told him I wanted a margarita. We got 3 free pitchers. I may have to make this our regular Wednesday night hangout.
Petty good. I just stapled a 5 dollar bill onto the chest of a sword swallower.
I'm responsible for my client's overall well-being. Which is terrifying coming from someone that can't stop masturbating and eats leftover pizza just about everyday.
Turns out I hooked up with a chick who has lupus. I don't know if that's a bucket list thing or not, but it's now on mine. Check.
so I found out I could dislocate my shoulders on demand while I was trippin on e last night...
Also...I'm semi-dating the drug dealer that took me to bible study
I'm counting my small victories this morning. For instance, I haven't puked at work yet.
THEY HAVE BEEN GOING AT IT FOR 2 HOURS AND I HEAR THEM BANGING THIS IS BULLSHIT
That's Danny the boy who threw up in the Doritos bag
Hahahaha. He sent me a dick snap in the lululemon stockroom. What is life. If this works out, this could benefit everyone....
I've had way too many dicks in my mouth the past two weeks. Ready to go back to school and be a doctor now
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