Yes. UR adorable in a weird way.
Theres a note on my antibiotics that says "Do not chew or crush. Swallow whole." I think that would be a good tattoo for just above my penis.
woke up to find a pram in the balcony. first thing we did was look over the edge!
somehow writing 'not a skank' on yur boobs doesn't really make you look less skanky...
I am like king midas for the gay community. everything I touch turns into a lesbian.
She just invited me to drunkenly make out on the kitchen floor again.....
and then he publicly announced her herpes on facebook.
Oh we're fine. I made her a "sorry I peed on you" omelet.
you called your neighbor "slutsauce" then passed out on the stairway. not even sure why, but props to you.
He is crying over the toilet and his friends just came in and tried to make him take another jello shot.
Thank god crabs can't live on your head. Thank god.
I JUST MADE OUT WITH A BRITISH SOCCER PLAYER. LONG LIVE THE QUEEN. GOD BLESS THAT COUNTRY.
So I got drunk last night and attempted to shave a landing strip on my vag. I now have a 8 lane highway on my crotch now. Just looks like a random ass square.
I may watch porn and eat a baked potato covered in chili in bed
So that guy from plenty of fish has a lightning bolt tattooed on his face. I kinda feel like I HAVE to sleep with him now.
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