I have so many mobile devices now, I only use my laptop for porn.
I plan on offering nudes to any guy that wants to give me notes from the past five weeks of class
I just spent a chunk of my Christmas money on Plan B. I don't think that's what my relatives had mind when they said "spend it wisely", but hey, it was a good investment considering the bad life choices i made last night.
He said "I know I'm not gay. I fucked a guy once and didn't like it"
Theres two guys using a blow up doll to hold their beers while they float around the pool
Im on my way, tell them to get ready for a high-five
We are probably going to have to use your boobs as currency to get this done
did she really put a helmet on, try to make a hole in the wall then pass out on the floor ten minutes later? if thats true ill be there in 15
Count me out. I seem to have semen induced blindness in one eye.
I think I used your jacking off shit when I showered. I couldn't see shit, it was all oily. Fuck power outages
I like to take my ritalin one pill at a time with each pill spaced out a couple minutes so I feel like I'm going super saiyan when they kick in.
There are people taking shots out of a turtle shell.
Everyone heard you scream that I was to be naked, in your bed in 5 minutes. We were one hell of a shitshow spectacle
Did you put Dave Matthews band on the playlist? It's really hard to funnel when "Crash Into Me" kicks in.
BTW, Julia referred to you as a power bottom. Are you available?
Your youporn search history says otherwise.
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