May have just accidentally purchased an iphone on Kate's credit card. This has potential to be bad.
she was so hung over that i had to hold her hair while she puked in a trash can in the middle of the student center as new freshman and their parents walked by.
This girl in my class is wearing a sweatshirt that says "LEAD ME NOT INTO TEMPTATION" ahaha I almost just laughed out loud. We could never be friends
man i wonder what i would be like if i had never started smoking weed
I got spanked with a cardboard tube. Apparently he used to be a percussionist. Who favored marching band tunes. It was weird.
He called me on my way to the bathroom and told me he wanted to hear me pee my beers out... That. Drunk.
I was late because I helped this old romanian lady mow her lawn at 2AM.
The guy I brought home last night made a speedy escape while I was in the bathroom. The only trace I found of his flight was a lone sock on the stairs.... It was like a whorey low budget Cinderella
I woke up to him "wax on, wax off"-ing my boobs. I just reminded myself that I love him and let it happen.
Sarah is throwing up still and I'm eating salad with my fingers
I don'y know if I should feel accomplished or disgusted. I just ate a dozen cookies all to myself. I'm leaning more towards accomplished.
I don’t have the time, patience, or blood alcohol level to deal with her.
Let's just say if my bucket list had "fngered in the middle of a club by a complete stranger while being sprayed by UV paint" then that is well and truly ticked off.
I told her I wanted to go swimming and she responded with jello shots, taking off her clothes, and jumping into the pool...I think I'm in love
I'm just going to use my debit card. I feel bad buying pizza with the money I stole from my roommate...so I'm going to put it in my piggy bank.
Randomize
