this girl looks like the female version of brooke hogan
You know you have a problem when the only thing that saves you is that you drank so late into the night that you sleep through the designated walk of shame time window
I just don't understand how my upright asian catholic roommate is getting more than me.
As it would turn out, "jesusssssss" is not the password to enter Faith Chapel's wifi network.
my passenger side seat is covered in alcoholic jello with a nude mannequin in it
before you smothered your pizza in mayo you blotted it with a napkin saying you were trying to watch your fat intake
I'm also annoyed at my horoscope for not warning me of my perils
He passed out so we kept throwing water on him, he got excited and asked if we were at the wave pool.
Yeah I'm about to go down a waterslide that comes out a 2nd story window. I love college.
It's official. I am the proud owner of his very own sex tape. Amateur awesome porn or awful delete-me-now porn? Come over help me decide.
& he told me 'I don't think ur a big slut-just kind of an average slut'
HE THINKS THATS A COMPLIMENT!!!!!
I want a coyote to ride back and forth to the bathroom because walking is getting old
I never should have let my cousin and his pregnant girlfriend move in with me. I'm never having sex again. They scare off men more than 'my dream wedding' pin board.
Here's the level of my committment: I'm not participating in the Olympic opening ceremonies drinking game. THIS IS SERIOUS.
2017 is my year to realize stuff. Move over Kylie Jenner
Randomize
