Down for casual relationships, more fun than catholic missionary, bring condoms and don't get attached.
What can I expect? While all of my friends are getting married, all of his friends are tripping on robitussin
Great. Me and the intoxalock guy are getting so close he just said "alright see you later girl!" when I called about getting the blower recallibrated.
I love how our sober spotter means you only have to stay sober enough to type your pin in an ATM
I just discovered the Reese's pieces and sourdough bread sandwich. No signs of coming down.
My brother just woke up to see me on te couch dipping hamburger buns into pizza sauce. I'm beginning to question the life choices that led to this moment.
You almost make it sound as if getting an education to further your career is more important than beer and tacos.
Are you still crying. What are you doing. Have 10 shots of tequila.
I guess I've just seen a lot of penises since then
My New Years Resolution is to get everyone to start talking like a 40 year old douchebag. From now on, you will only refer to me as Chief.
Well, I saw an Olympian's genitals tonight, so it can't be that bad.
so in other words, they broke and fell off and I ate a gummy life saver off of his balls
I need a beard to bite.
i dunno, a lot of my childhood feels like a drugged up fever dream
The Lion King Is on YouTube
Until 2 minutes ago I actually had a chance to pass my midterms... thanks alot
Randomize
