If she sees it and stops hooking up w/ me then you owe me
Being college poor has reached a new low. I am giving up on masturbating so i can save money on toilet paper
i used the phrase horny rhinos in my paper. i hope my teacher appreciates the size of my balls
If we don't get kicked out of this hotel tonight for fucking too loud we're breaking up
i threw up in a box in my own lap driving today.
I always forget that visiting my hometown is like a who's who of ugly people.
I can't even masturbate anymore!! That was my last source of cardio!!
Not every day do you see a hooker getting arrested at noon. Just kidding, we live in Reno.
So my parents just watched me pour their rum into a bottle and only add crystal light powder, no water... Talk about being judged. All I could say was "Cortland tricks?"
Yeah, he threw a chair and hit her in the side of the head. She started hysterically crying and then proceeded to continue kicking our ass at beerpong. The girls got talent.
All I want to do is lay in my bed and eat hotdogs
Will u lay on an air mattress with me and drink vodka while we listen to Rick James?
Dude if I had a dollar for everytime she asked me to do weird shit with her when we were fucking I'd have like 4$
I discovered moonshine and fell in love.
There is way too much butt cleavage here for a formal event.
Randomize
