it's not gay if you rub your penis between their butt cheeks and pretend they are tits
He made a note in his iPhone tonight so that he would remember that I rejected him.
you kept typing in answers.com, why are the state police calling my house, expecting an answer
Just got a hand job during Charlie St.cloud I honestly never thought Id thank Zac Efron fir one of his movies but thank you
I only remembered where urgent care was because it's across the street from my favorite bar
Not much, just your average college male Sunday cleaning period blood out of the carpet.
Tell me you're kidding.
Besides scarred, I'm not much of anything right now.
My vag has a bald spot. That is so middle aged. Is this my midlife crisis?
Ummmmm okay let's be incredibly straightforward. Hi there. My bed's at half capacity this evening. How'd you like to fill it up?
Note to self: do not ride giant beanbag chair down stairs.
We're not on Beacon Street anymore so now your argument about not peeing on the sidewalk holds no water. Whereas my bladder has holded every water.
Owwwww. Yeah. I can barely move unless Im high on vicodin. We are bad at drinking/balancing. We will be the first to break hips and have to go into a home.
How do you keep manipulating these men into helping you?
I'm a massage therapist with an oral fixation. It's not nearly as hard as you make it out to be.
I'm to the point of desperation where I stare at customers penis imprints through their pants all day
you woke up this morning in a laundry basket, only wearing rainboots.
All I wanted was a good weekend full of booze, laughs, and maybe some penis. Instead, someone is in the hospital, I didn't sleep at all last night. And not because I got laid.
Randomize
