best part, i was ridiculous and none of them were judging me bc they didn't want my vagina. it was like i was a pretty painting
and everytime i fart i feel like in your heart, you can hear it
Yeah she is in it for the money, wait til she finds out i am broke and the sex doesnt get better
you flashed the cab driver so we didn't have to pay the fare and then you decided you were on a roll so you flashed the guy at the maccas drive through... safe to say your boob job was the best idea ever!!
He thought the strainer was a giant bowl to puke in.
I can't believe I had to convince you to not drink butter.
the kid throwing up and laying face down on the deck just asked ME if I'M okay...
I was about to smoke a bunch of weed and lay naked while I cried all day
At this point, just throw that mattresses away. Or bronze it and display it as a testament to your shame. either is good.
bartering with my concussed boyfriend to eat food with blowjobs
Ive done some fucked up shit, but last night was the first I have Poured milk on anothers mans face in the shower.
I swear to god if you eat that last piece of pie while I'm gone I will never speak to you again. I'm so serious.
He's gonna be like you slept with too many of my friends and you're being voted off the island haha
He just got really stoned and kept complementing my ponytail
I've realized that drinking at your apartment alone on a Tuesday probably isn't a good thing.
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