what is TOTES MCGOATS in spanish?
she asked me what the final straw was. i had to tell her i caught him jerking off to digimon porn. i don't know what i'm more upset by, that he was masturbating to cartoons, or that he was masturbating to sub-par cartoons
How long after mardi gras is it considered okay to wake up topless and wearing beads?
The basket that the Naughty Easter bunny left for you at my house might keep us entertained for a little while...
Im pretty sure at one point a very high you yelled, with actual tears in your eyes, "im not wrestling with you anymore, you dont respect my safe word!!"
So half of us were already throwing up outside when the Ukrainians ask us if we're ready to start partying yet. I love this country.
My roommate is either deadlifting a bus or having sex. I can't tell which
My roommate is watching gummy bears "race" from a mega-marshmallow to his lava lamp.
No gay bar. My eyemake up looks like sex and Im using these dick daggers of mine tonight.
You dove at him but passed out mid dive. Shame it wasnt a costume party your superman suit wouldve been clutch in the situation
I knew you were cut off when you tried to order a "Phil Collins"
I hope April is a better month for dicks. March has been very disappointing.
Anyone who does not consider cereal and wine as a balanced breakfast needs to leave immediately.
so i may or may not have just had sex on the stage of the lecture hall....
Social anxiety problems: I just had to get up and change stalls mid-poop because someone sat down in the one next to mine.
Randomize