does the new i-phone have a pregnancy test app?
So after THIS dui, I've decided to stop driving. Not drinking, just quit driving.
hapi new year, hope this year brings u happiness and lots of sexi people ;)
stop writing like that.
I'm celebrating tres de junio so if you can help me find some sombreros ill be grateful. Also, today in 1992 Aborigines were granted rights to their land so I might need some boomerangs.
So if we break up over this are you still gonna come over and do my dishes?
I would totes be making out with random people in the name of america if I was at the white house right now
don't get you morals all over my torrid fantasties
fuck it. im taking monday off to do some Jagering.
Look, if I'm too lazy to put any effort into sexting, you better believe I'm too lazy to put any effort into dating.
Liar. My heart is broken and my boobs are disappointed.
Want to help me look around town for my shorts from last night?
Cheese, the small of a woman's back, the universe, mountains, vampiric demons, sleep, and dreams.
I may have taken the entire adderall. I FEEL LIKE THE FUCKIN HULK. I can't stop cleaning and organizing and doing the clean things
Nothing like being naked and confused and clutching a scented candle...at least I woke up in my own bed though.
Every time Brady gets sacked I cum a little...
Randomize
