What ever happened to making out with a few boob grabs here and there?
have you ever noticed that homeless people never have acne. suck it proactive
Do I need to let your sister outside to go pee or anything before I leave?
I found the pot of gold last night, and it was full of bad decisions.
She called picking up at 2pm a matinee drug deal.
You bought champagne and told everyone it was because I'd just found out I was pregnant. How exactly is that being a good wingman?
Somebody really needs to come home and pick up the used condom from the middle of the wood room floor. It's blue, if that helps decide who comes - uh, home.
I've literally already typed in by booty call text for friday night. all I have to do now is wait for is drunk me to press send
I knew there was a problem when things got heated and instead of rushing home I offered to get bagels instead
You thought there were zombies attacking us so you tried to tuck and roll out of a moving vehicle. Also you should consider wearing underwear
Would I be crazy if I drove 1,000 miles for some dick? What mile does it become ridiculous?
I'm pretty sure our sex is better than most foods and that says a lot too bc I really like food
Ok, stop saying "youths." You're 23.
I'd date him. I'd date the fucking shit out of him.
I’m the skeleton in his closet, but I only come out on Tuesday and Thursday afternoon and when his wife is out of town
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