just had a super intense, drunken debate about which blink182 member is the most fuckable. i got so mad i left the room. new low.
yea pretty sure we followed the trail of your spaghetti-o vomit to find the car
I took her to see 2012 then broke up with her, the movie was a metaphor.
i'm at the gym and so are four guys who have seen my tits. i need winter break.
His mom took away his car and made him quit his job.
HE'S 26!!!
Just drove through Taco Johns wearing a drug rug and no pants. When I rolled down my window, the girl paused for a minute before saying "um... 4.07"
I have an odd instinct I wont find my underwear tonight
I think its safe to assume that the 40yr old undergraduate with purple and pink in her hair and a tattoo of the eiffel tower above her ass crack has never actually been to Paris...
After the nose/jizz incident i think our relationship can handle anything.
"it's Wednesday" isn't a good enough excuse to take my debit card and use it for your own drunken needs. You owe me 250 bro
I walked outside an you were laying down talking to a star about your life. That's when I took the bottle of jack away...
that's the best thing i've ever said to a penis
Did you hook up with him before or after he shaved off half of his eyebrow?
So now I can cross "have my ass be someone's phone background" off the bucket list. You know, if it was something I actually had wanted to happen.
i can trust myself, just not when im drunk. and drinking is my favorite pastime
Randomize
