i hate having sex with him only a few drinks in. i like it better when i cant remember the gory details.
i think ur clone was at the club last week. she slapped some tall girl in the face who tried to steal her spot on the podium. i dont know if ur like her, but she seemd like a ninja badass with superpowers
explain to me why "crisis hotline lolz" is in my contacts?
Slipping me an edible before my ochem final was not your brightest idea. Looks like I'm switching to business.
I need a vacation from myself..this is duely noted after I tried giving myself a concussion last night
Just made a list of all the guys I've hooked up with. "Roofie tattoo eyelids", "xanex night guy", "rainy concert", "cory blanket" and "naked hottub guy" made it.
Dude. There's gotta be an article in Cosmo about it cause I've had three different girls tongue tickle my brownie this month.
Beautiful fucking linguistics Shakespeare, but youre still not doing that to my face
I fell asleep masterbating while watching family guy... This is what happens when girl's night gets canceled
I just conveyed my whole sex life to my mom over voicemail. Anddd, I'm hammered.
Top night. Top night.
Ones vagina should not have the same slogan as a can of Pringles.
Never go drinking with anime club. End of story.
Is it a bad thing for a seven year old to call one an alcoholic? Asking for a friend..
So he has moved up to a stage 5 clinger...Surprised he didn't try to lure you into bed with tacos, like he did last time
Yeah... akward. I don't want a round 2
I wanted to give everyone gifts as they left the house... So when your wondering where most of the christmas ornaments are I'm really sorry.
Randomize
