I painted my nails silver
And what are the implications of that?
Is there supposed to be a msg in that? Just thought ud like to know it looks like I fingerbanged an alien
Gayer than 8 guys blowing 9 guys
wow, that really makes you stop and think.
I haven't gotten laid in forever. I'm obsessed. I imagine I this is how Ethopians feel about food.
I walked downstairs and there were 50 sorority girls. I wasn't expecting an audience during my walk of shame.
Just whacked off in the middle of writing a paper, gave me great ideas. Note, should do this more often.
Every time I remember you're bi, the world gets a little brighter.
I have now added draft and wells specials that different bars have to my blackberry calendar.. Help me.
The brazilian leg lock that the stripper put me in was definitely the highlight of the night
I can't believe I ever hated her sister or friends. They got her some sexy sexy ass lingerie for the honeymoon. I think I love them bitches
A guy just grabbed my balls before he shook my hand because he thought he knew me.
I felt kinda awkward walking into his house in nothing but lingerie and my dead grandmas overcoat
Trust me.. Might look gay.. Might feel gay... But I could snap your neck with my inside thighs bro
Chasing my kid around a 30' jungle gym was not how I envisioned spending the day off work to recover from a vasectomy.
I told you for Halloween we just need to let the loins free! Let the girth come to us in a flock, drenched with passion!
I have a hickey in my new work ID photo.....
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