new number. flushed my phone last night when i puked, made B help me look for it for 2 hours.
So I walked out of my room and there was my brother....standing naked
is it really this hard to find a guy i can fuck and have a good time with who doesn't ask where things are going btwn us?
you sound like my dream girl
Wow, this guy is harder to get rid of than gum in pubic hair
I would like to remind you that Mike's hard lemonade only goes good with an extra light cigarette and seminal fluid.
being a part time student has turned me into a full time alcoholic.
who has that picture of us looking like alcoholics at the zoo?
She poured a bottle of rum in the champagne fountain, did like 5 jello shots at the same time, then lit herself on fire. Twice. This is how everyone should turn 21.
I would think I was a stalker too if I wasn't myself
I guess I made wings because there's chicken everywhere. Even on the walls. 3 of them. It's like a chicken grave yard.
You have no idea how pumped I am. I literally plan on dying. You're in my will
I swear to god there was like a 2-second timespan in which he went from laughing to coughing, hiccuping, and subsequently projectile vomiting into the grass. There is literally a line in the grass, about 2 yards long, of his puke. It was more impressive than disgusting to be honest. And then he just shrugged and said "I have no idea where that came from."
I'm sort of afraid for my life tho. If the 4th of July can be the way it was a DMX show is capable of anything
Let's hurry up so I can puke at home instead of my van
My roommate just google searched "cumming blood" using my laptop. Her boyfriend is in her room, she looks scared. Words cannot explain how hilarious this is.
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