Ill pay your DUI fine if you just come see me nooooowwwww
no. its 2:30am and im not going to jail for a booty call
they almost convinced me to put "Funbags" in the 'other names you may be known as' section of the job application
I really hope he dies in a tragic kegstand mishap
The size of her vagina has nothing to do with the size of her heart bro
Okay, lets just agree to keep all cutlery related activities to a minimum.
There are topless girls riding the lawn flamingos. I win.
You were crying and asking his mom "why doesn't he like road head?"
Made eye contact with a friendly neighborhood dog walker while violently puking out the window. How's your Wednesday going?
Am I allowed to be in denial about being gay again? Or is that one of those things you can't do?
Dude that chick had a dog in her car. Like when she goes bar hoping so does roofus. He gaurds the car.
He's easy on the eyes, light on his feet, and rough in bed...what more could a girl ask for in a rebound?
strip teases shouldnt end with an expensive car covered in salsa and mayonnaise yet here we are
I get stoned and write a 15 page history report in two hours. She gets stoned and cries because she "doesn't know which shade of pink is the real one".
At least I got steroids and a baguette out of the deal
Idk she seemed really innocent until she snorted that line of vicodin
Randomize