Nah got too drunk to function...probably could have dragged something home over my shoulder if the cops didn't roll
I'm looking for sex. Do you know her?
so i stopped by cvs on the way home this morning, turns out hallmark doesnt make an im sorry my friend puked on your friend card, call me if were still speaking
The drink u got me is pineapple something w. Cigarete ashes in it.ima drink it anyway
No fireworks. Throwing the old microwave off the deck.
I wish I could like. Pull my liver out, and put it in the corner of a boxing ring, put a towel and ice on it, rub it's shoulders, and tell it to "get back in there, you got this!".
well in DOG beers, i've only had one
I seriously just caught my Pina colada from falling of a table perfectly facing up. I will now reward myself by finishing this one and then getting my 8th
i was really hopeful that i could make it to the end of the semester without doing something stupid enough to destroy our relationship but i guess i was wrong..........thanks vodka
I can't believe he just friend zoned me like that.
Dude, you're not even gay.
We broke into her grandpa's pool at 2 am and I held my underwear out the window on the way home.
They're fucking on the bed next to me. I took adderall and smoked so there's no fucking help for me.
Also CANADIAN LIPS TASTE OF MAPLE SYRUP AND APOLOGIES. SORRY.
It's like the dark age of my sex life being stuck here
MANIFESTATION IS REAL AND IM GETTING LAID TONIGHT
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