hes 24 and dating a highschool junior and keeps saying how happy he is. happy about what? her ACT score??
Remember that one time i smeared period blood on your face?
I hate you
Freshman just walked up and thanked me for letting him hide under my bed when the cops showed up to the house last weekend
Just saw a woman with a Pomeranian in her bra. Way to step up your game Seattle.
At what point would you like us to save you from yourself?
i'll probably be on drugs forewarning
forewarning i'll probably have done those drugs with you
I only listened to his story about leaving the Amish community because I was hoping for a free drink
Who would've thought that Monopoly night would've ended with some girl peeing on the couch.
How frowned upon is it to take your vibrator into the tanning bed...because Operation: dripping wet is in full swing and I have a busy schedule
I've just been thinking about sangria a lot lately, like an adult.
It's okay that we broke up and all but it's not okay that he still has my Chick-fil-A calendar card. This month is free fries!
Guys are like someone else's baby; i'll play with them but if responsibility is involved i'll hand them off.
He's eating a sriracha ravioli sandwich. How do you think the night is going?
I guess I was telling girls last night that I was a virgin with terminal cancer again
"Uno más" are officially my least favorite words in the entire Spanish language.
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