I dont kno what was worse. Waking up 2 a guy next to me thinking I got blackout or realizing it was your boyfriend.
I dont need to watch it. And stop comparing your life to Entourage.
I cant go down on him yet. All ive had to eat is olives and percocet. semen would only add to tomorow mornings discomfort.
Why the fuck was there a shirtless Mexican in my apartment this morning?
So he ended up having sex with me, but it was so awkward. When it was over, he went to the bathroom, and he came back and asked, "are you on your period or something? there's blood on my dick..." and i said, "well it was supposed to start today, nice surprise...i am so embarrassed." and he said ,"it's better than you queefing." and as soon as he said that, i queef the hardest and loudest i ever had.
it took me about 5 minutes before I knew it was in her ass. i thought the first time would be a bit more special
i got a blow job in the bathroom during intermission at the hockey game. i'm pretty sure i made Canada proud.
Finished watching the entire first season of mighty morphing power rangers. Now I have nothing. Not even a life.
After some trial and error I found soaking my balls in maple syurip helps ease the pain.
Setting up an obstacle course with ladders, hurdles, and a spring board to the pool. you down for drunk races through it later?
His roommates came in and started a dance party in his room while we were having sex. He said it wasnt the first time.
Pretending to be completely fried so the odd girl next to me doesnt suspect im simply staring at her.
in a last ditch attempt to make life awkward after i die today i want to be buried naked and have an open casket funeral.
He didn't have much of a personality. But I had like 100 orgasms, so that's cool.
I just saw puke on the road at the same stoplight i threw up at sunday morning! Makes me smile inside.
Randomize
