Yep Great. Apparently I didn't just say things once that night. Drink. Yell. Repeat.
U also mentioned u werent wearing any underwear hahahaha
Just got the American Express annual summary for 2009. The amount of bars we visited last year is impressive.
Why hello there Olivia! How are you today on this fine and most wonderful morning full of magic and adventure and awesomeness?
Someone just got laid.
There's a very real possibility that I'll wake up in your uncle's driveway.
The last thing I said to him last night before telling him he couldn't give me a kiss goodnight was pointing at his dick then at me and saying "this isn't working out"
We got a 5L jug of wine for 3 Euro. Italy was a good choice.
Received a verbal warning at work for "riding in a trash receptacle, violating professionalism & infection control."
Carry on my wayward bro, there'll be beer when you get low. lay your neon tank to rest, dont you rage no more.
I am not even close to finishing violently masturbating over that video.
It has been so long since I got any action that I have decided to change my vagina's name from "the chamber of judgement" to "the cave of forgotten dreams".
ALMOST WRECKED MY SCOOTER. DAVE FRANCO HAS A TWIN AMD HE GOES HERE
I love that there are toys on the counter. Coffee, tea, wine bottles, gag ball, and handcuffs.
My kitchen gets me.
He said we had an hour long conversation about how awesome I was.
Perfect. I'll put on my party clothes and write emergency numbers on my arm
No one can explain why there is Dora the Explorer shampoo in my shower...
Randomize