I just remembered that last night when we tried to walk off the spins you said "pretend i'm your pet dinosaur" so i walked you around on an invisible leash while you made t-rex hissing noises.
He just stood there...Helen Keller and I could have had a more interesting conversation
He used his penis as a puppet and sang Rihanna's Hard..... so no, we will never see each other again.
so either half this theatre is as stoned as me, or day daybreakers is hilarious
there should be laws that require people like to me to be on birth control.
CANT TOUCH THIS JUST CAME ON MY IPOD. LOVE STEVE JOBS
Never again will we have slut saturday. Never.
I chugged a beer while I was riding him and he told me it was the sexiest thing he has ever seen. this guy knows class when he sees it.
Just found out I called my mom at six in the morning to ask where the bong was. I win.
Youre attempt to ruin my night by putting Date Rape by Sublime on my sex playlist failed. She was into it.
One good thing out of all this is her ass is huge. Like Australia Big.
I threw away my jacket instead of washing it, the jungle juice stained me more of shame than red food coloring... i have never been that white girl wasted before...
My black heart of coal cannot compete with your boiling crock pot of teddy bears, rainbows, 90s music, and the good candy you get from rich people on Halloween.
this party is nice, but i have to go home and cry over anime in order to fill my daily quota of suffering
I just left a 3 minute voicemail to the guy I want to fuck baby talking my cats and I don't know if I can delete it 😐
Randomize