1:32 am: your girlfriend looks like a man
1:48 am: your uglier
Just saw a policeman use his lights to go through a red light only to turn them off and go to Sonic...
it felt like I walked into a Tool Academy challenge
i wanted to go smoke pot, so i told my mom i was getting tutored. she asked what time i would be back, i told her learning doesn't have a curfew
she's walking down the hall in a thong and one flip flop and one ugg
i was that girl throwing up in the urinal. it was a dark moment in my life.
I am NOT getting arrested in a wig.
is it possible that there's a used condom holding pennies in my bra? I'm so confused on what happened last night...
it's a drink the shower water kind of morning ...
it wasnt a pity fuck per say. i wasnt attracted to her, but still thought 'that looks like a fun ride'
she broke up with me the week she got divorced. maybe I should grab a beer with her ex
I feel I must have sex with him first to fully decide where my vagina belongs.
So when this rash is gone wanna hang out?
oh so have I but I'd still suck a dick or 20 in the name of freedom.
You got naked in his car? Or the koala suit was in his car? One of those sounds a lot less slutty than the other......
Randomize
