Thursdays are my worst days
but now we sippin champagne when we thirstay?
we were pretty classy up until the second keg
we dont know what were doing after yet. first up we have 90 beers and a party kit and fun hats.
She's allergic to latex.
Lucky bastard.
I have decided today is drunk costume day. That is, i woke up still drunk and found costumes all over my floor. Heck yes. This is happening. Come over. Drink.
It hits you later. Like when you wake up on the floor under a puzzle later.
Well that's the second time I've broken a lamp during sex this month. Starting to worry I'm some kind of X-man. (this one was a wall sconce and I fully smashed it with my head and it crumbled like it was made of sugar)
I could run a drunk marathon in heels
Dude they're making a condom for people who have no feeling in their penises that will make them able to have an orgasm. I love science
And my nipple is sore from him biting it. That is not a complaint.
GOIN TO BED BEFORE TEQUILA BLEEDS FROM MY EYEBALLS
Currently hot boxing a fort I made on our snow day... This is legendary
Have you ever eaten pizza and gotten your dick sucked at the same time? Because I have pizza.
At one point I had two blunts in my hand and had no idea where they came from.
I'm gonna cum garlic butter
Randomize