I just saw the girl you left with - Chris Hansen's looking for you
they're scary. like turkeys that ate nuclear fucking steroids.
So I'm pretty sure when I was giving a Birthday Blow J, he went to grab my boob, but grabbed a fat roll and asked "You're not wearing a bra?"
Just saw the hottest 4 garbage men ever. They should make a calendar
I always have to poop after I paint my nails. It never fails.
All I want in this world right now are Doritoessssss
OK. You going to get home safe? Who are you with?
Doritoesssssss
you flashed the cab driver so we didn't have to pay the fare and then you decided you were on a roll so you flashed the guy at the maccas drive through... safe to say your boob job was the best idea ever!!
well right now he's telling us a story how he befriended a racoon
It's like eating cereal and milk but instead of cereal it's gummy bears and instead of milk it's vodka.
We made out while a LIT cigarette dangled out of the side of his mouth. Disturbing or slightly erotic?
Moral of the story: I had sex to Back to the Future last night.
I swear to god if you eat that last piece of pie while I'm gone I will never speak to you again. I'm so serious.
I'm determining which apartments I'm mostly to move into based on how suitable the kitchens are for sex .
90% sure I just sold adderall to my professor
100% proud
I am still worried she'll have a seizure durring. What would I do? Try to ride it out and finish, or pull out and assist?
Randomize
