All of his creepy stalker friends want you too
well once we started drinking vodka out of wine glasses there was no turning back
I'm really debating making a second facebook. Same name only with DRUNK at the end. That way I can keep the guys I only talk to when I'm drunk on that facebook and only go on it when im drunk.
Alive...but barely. Had dinner with my parents tonight which was conveniently located near where i left my car, phone, and self respect
Maybe I'm a robot.
You can't be that drunk already
Is it wrong I want to seduce my ex to prove the point to his current gf he's an ass?
I have made the descision to sacrifice the first of my family's dogs that wakes me before noon tomorrow. I may quickly become the family outcast
This is the second girl that said she wanted to fuck me while wearing a clown nose. Fuck online dating
I basically have sex lined up for me in three different countries. If that's not a feat I don't know what is
In the store looking for it now. They put the theatre/script section right next to the gay erotica section. Rude. Practical, but rude.
if you were broke and planning on using koolaid as a tequila chaser which flavor would you pick?
last time we were there you stole a tap from the toilets. How are you confused that your bag is full of baubles you clearly can't stop collecting their furnishings
I now know he's been cheating for a while. I also know HER name, address, phone number, Facebook account, religion and zodiac sign. I feel like I'm earning my restraining order. Point is, never fuck over a librarian.
I just wanna fuck your brother. Sorry if thats a crime.
I dont think the chain smoking, tequila shots or cocaine was good for my bronchitis.
Randomize
