just found deep spiritual meaning in spongebob.... that high.
Drunkenly found an error on my bar tab last night. THANK YOU ACCOUNTING.
just because you are in college doesnt mean its okay to pregame easter mass.
A letter to the campus apologizing for being sucha cunt with a picture of her head on it. All posted around campus.
you should break up with her....give her the gift of reality
we were bear claw grabbing his crotch in the middle of the bar yelling prominent ridge over and over.
Thank god the bicycalist i hit was on drugs
Maybe you can hide out somewhere she would never go. Like a counseling center or AA
What do you want to swallow. Press 1 whiskey press 2 rum
The bag I'm bringing home for the weekend: a change of clothes, workout shoes, and sex toys, that's it.
Just got cockblocked by my GF's wedding shower... That's a first. And I have to buy a gift.
You will drink beer in a kiddie pool in your back yard but you wont bring a girl home
Just showed my drunk fiancé where I got circumcised, she's been crying for twenty minutes.
Did my extra credit for a class I badly need to pass at the bar of Friday's.. kind of sum's up my college career. Got a 90 though.
DO NOT FUCK YOUR ENGAGED GAY NEIGHBOR!
Randomize
