You can't special order awesome
Do you ever close your eyes when your having sex with your girlfriend and pretend she didn't get fat after high school?
Get your damn GED now that you are harvesting a child in her belly
What is a GED?
All he said was "Yeah, there's a lot of air down there. And penis."
I wish orgasms lasted as long as the pain from rug burn
I never had a problem I couldn't slut my way out of.
I literally paid him in shots to clean my entire apartment. he even vacuumed...who said alcoholism is a bad thing??
Tim said I dropped my taco in a puddle and still ate it.
I don't know what I wash first. My body or my puke painted car. People are judging me as I drive by.
We left the knife in your bed.
Stoned, and eating Doritos, and reading about lesbians for class. This is the life.
I don't know what to say to that. All I know is my vagina is trying to jump through the phone.
I love you even if you are fucked up. If you fall, i'll just get on top of you.
it was all good until mid make out when he announced 'i just came'. ...he wasn't joking.
So technically I made out with my second cousin this weekend... But it's by marriage and I'm adopted, so it's ok.
Randomize
