ok 1 i realized people actually live in central wisconsin and 2 culvers could be a good place to pick up chicks today
Then he told me I had the most beautiful looking vulva
Buying $100 worth of beef jerkey sounded like a terrific idea last night.
She wouldn't go home with me cause I forgot her name. I didn't realize it would matter after she danced with her vagina on my face
We lost the cork forthe wine, so we used a tampon as a replacement. I never loves tampons so much
the awesomeness of being snowed in wore off after we ran out of beer and we realized we really didnt want to be stuck with everyone.
You declared war on your ex and then had sex with who you thought was her sister. No one knows who she was but we think your dick might be in danger.
Roomie questionaires don't ask any of the important questions like "how do you feel about one night stands" and "will you judge me post-walk of shame"
I feel so bad for your roommate
its like a catch 22, sucks that you've stopped, but its like a vagina high five
I just got stoned alone and repierced my nose. don't ever tell me I'm unaccomplished
I just got stoned by myself and am eating cookies so I'm right there with you
there was a keg and pinata at my uncles funeral, and a bunch of scary looking biker dudes showed up to pay their respects. i need to strive to be more like him.
I ate breakfast with him. And by ate breakfast I mean we fucked on the kitchen table.
He showed up to a booty call with 2 tea bags, but no condom...
Good to know. If our sexting moves past early 1900s vernacular, I'll be sure to use that once or twice.
I want to respect them as people, but really I just want to have sex with them.
Randomize