I got wasted for the 1st time and I sat in a fridge for 2 hours and a trash can?
I just remembered we said the Lord's Prayer before we went out last night.
I just wanted to say sorry for trying to jack off your dog last night.
Just found a dugout in my rental car glove box. Suddenly my mood is upbeat.
you said you were a responsible adult. then you licked the wall.
We left live chickens on the basement slip n slide. Good luck finding your car keys
So, we bought a knight today. Nearly life size. Hes in the garage, so don't be startled.
110% paid for our cab with a lap dance
Ive never seen one person more proud of themselves of peeing in public and getting away with it.
I knew I was in trouble when she kept referring to the next day as things we should do
So you brought her to my house and left her on my couch.
Thats why you dont have a "jubilant gunfire celebration"
I was told to keep my leg elevated. I assume it means to keep my legs on the air, it's like I was prescribed to be slutty
So unless we're getting married, I can't see him cry AND have sex with him. It just doesn't work like that.
We smoked before the sunrise hike. I ended up eating a banana and singing Circle of Life as the sun rose over the horizon.
He told me that I should keep my socks on next time because he read somewhere that it'll help me orgasm...
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