If a girl is wearing Ed Hardy from head to toe, does that make her a douchebagette?
I sent you an email today but due to work restrictions, I had to misspell choke sex
she tasted like a mixture of sweat and destiny
it's already thursday and i haven't gotten drunk yet...something's not right.
At the T-Rex bar with my nephew...only in Disney can I have a beer and a soda at the bar with a 4 year old
Do you have any idea how hard it is to cum to Chingy?!
while we were having sex she stopped and said, "god is always watching". Then she started again with no other words said. We were fucked up.
You said your dick dragged you up the stairs
Thank you for getting us into that car accident. I have had more guys hit on me than ever before because of my broken fingers.
I never knew so many sexual things could be done while wearing footie pajamas
Target doesn't accept your signature for your credit card if you draw a dick on the pad. Even of your name is Richard.
I had to explain the gravity bong to my mom. Right after she pointed out I have a lot of dicks on my floor at any given moment.
Sometimes a girl needs 4 shots of whiskey in her diet coke at 5 in the afternoon and i feel no shame in admitting that girl is me
And your boyfriend doesn't mind you constantly taking pictures of his dick just to freak out your brother?
its more like he's accepted that he can't stop me
Does sweetest day count when you're spending it with your fuck buddy, high and eating Pizza Hut?
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